A Very Good Occlumens
by Ink Stained Wretch
Summary: Snape gets what he wants: James dies, but Lily lives.  Snape pressures Lily to marry him as the best hope for protecting Harry, love optional. Or so he says.
1. Lily Lives

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (no under 18). You'll also find another story by me there._**  
**

**Lily Lives**

* * *

Voldemort raised his wand with cold intent. Lily leaped. Too soon. Voldemort waited the crucial half second, then screamed, "_Avada Kedavra!" _It all happened in a second. The green bolt shot from Voldemort's wand at the toddler in his crib behind Lily. Lily's body sprawled over the crib. The child flinched unconsciously, and the green bolt narrowly grazed his forehead, and bounced off the wall, showering sharp fragments of plaster, metal and debris everywhere, before striking the Dark Lord. With a scream, he disappeared. 

Moments later, a dark, bat-like figure Apparated in front of the house and paused before the wide-open front door before racing inside. He nearly tripped over James's prone body in the entry. Crouching down, panting hard, he felt for a pulse at James's neck and found none. He ran into the nursery. The boy was standing in his crib, crying. The dark figure ignored him and flew to the side of the woman.

He put his hand at her neck and found what he was searching for. His shoulders under his wraith-like cloak slumped. Then he began chanting the healing charms in a monotone that belied any fear or concern. After a few moments, Lily stirred.

"My baby," she said in a weak, panicky voice. She opened her eyes. "Severus? Where's Harry?"

Snape rose, snatched the child from his crib, pushed him into Lily's arms, then grasped them both and turned on the spot. When they came out the other end, he lifted both mother and child in his arms and carried them into St. Mungo's.

**One week later**

Lily stirred. "Feeling better now, dearie?" a nurse said kindly.

"W-what's happened?' Lily replied faintly.

"You're at St. Mungo's," the nurse said. "Your baby's fine. See?" She held up the chubby child, who regarded her with serious green eyes. "And there's been a man coming here every day. A—" she lowered her voice, "—Death Eater. We tried to chase him off, but he's a powerful wizard, dearie. He's been at your bedside every day. Oh, here he is now."

Snape appeared, as if from nowhere. "Lily," he said, seating himself by her bedside. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes." Memories of what had happened before she lost consciousness came flooding back. James! her brain screamed. It seemed impossible that he was gone, but she knew he was, remembered the horrible thud his body had made as it hit the ground. She felt as if everything that was happening now was happening in slow motion. If only it would end... But though the vistas in her mind held only leaden bleakness, her body felt strong and getting stronger.

"I've come to take you out now."

Take her out? She registered only faint interest. She was slightly surprised to see Severus, a known Death Eater, sitting at her bedside, but then again, she remembered how close they had been as children. She nodded and sat up.

Snape helped her stand, but her balance was steady. He was secretly proud not to hear any whining from her, to see her stand straight and strong.

"My baby—Severus, I can't lift him."

After a moment's hesitation, Snape went to the child and lifted him in his arms. The boy twisted, trying to see Lily. "Mummy," he said clearly. Snape ignored him. They walked out together, Lily a bit slowly, Snape with his arm around her waist in support. Lily was surprised to find that he could easily support her weight. It gave her a measure of comfort, even though her brain was clattering about James and she felt on the verge of tears.

"I didn't realize you were so strong, Sev," she head herself murmur as they walked through the doorway. Something bloomed inside Snape's chest, a pleasant yet unwelcome feeling.

Once outside, Snape Apparated them to a sitting room. The room was shabby, with dark wood furniture carved fantastically, a worn Oriental carpet, and a small grate. In spite of its tired air, the room conveyed a certain comfort.

"Where are we?" she said calmly, as Snape gestured for her to have a seat in an overstuffed chair. His thoughts roiled. How best to approach it?

"We're going to meet with a member of the Order," he said. "Dumbledore."

"The Order? How do you know about the Order?" she said in alarm.

He smiled, not a nice one. "I'm a member of it."

"You? A Death Eater?"

"Not any more." He strode a few steps away, then a few steps back and knelt suddenly before her, taking her hand in his and studying it. He pressed it to his mouth, his black eyes full on hers. As he did so, his sleeve fell back, exposing the Dark Mark on his forearm. He could tell Lily saw it because she tried to jerk her hand away. He tightened his long fingers firmly around hers. "Lily, I'm the Dark Lord's most trusted adviser—and a spy for the Order."

Lily sat back in shock. Something, finally, had cut through the clatter of grief in her mind. After a moment, she said, almost to herself, "How can I believe you? You must be a great Occlumens, an incredible Occlumens, for the Dark Lord not to suspect you. How can I know if what you say is true? I've trusted the wrong people," she went on bitterly, looking away. "I trusted Peter Pettigrew."

"Damn Peter Pettigrew! Who do you think set up that house for you and James? Who do you think arranged for your protection? Look at me, Lily!" She did look at him then, the blazing black eyes, with no bottom to them. "See whether I'm telling the truth!"

Setting her mouth in a taut line, she drew together her strength, raised her wand, and said, "_Leglimens_"

He didn't raise his wand, nor utter any counterspell. "That's good," he said. "I knew you could do it. You have so much magic, Lily. I won't hold back. I won't shield my thoughts." What she didn't know was that Snape had no compunction about reading her mind while she read his.

She peered deep into the black depths of his eyes, unwavering and full on her for what felt like the first time.

She drew back and looked away. "Oh, Sev," she said, her face, if anything, more pale than before. Her thoughts boiled to the surface unwittingly, and Snape flipped through them, betraying nothing in his expression. Relief, he saw, but also something stranger, and at first he couldn't or wouldn't recognize it. Was it fear for him?

"Now," he said, "I have to ask something of you."

Slowly, she nodded once.

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (no under 18). You'll also find another story by me there._


	2. Manipulation

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (__no under 18__). You'll also find another story by me there._

**Manipulation  
**

* * *

"The Dark Lord is gone for now," Snape said. "But he'll be back. And you and the boy need protection. James is gone—" a stifled sob from her. "Will you—marry me?" 

She blinked. Her brain seemed to be processing everything so slowly.

"Marry you?" she repeated. She felt the blush rise from her neck. Her shock was so obvious he didn't need Legilimency.

"I've always wanted you." He probed her thoughts delicately, so that she might not notice, but blankness was all that surfaced.

Frantically, Lily mentally flipped through her memories, trying to recollect something that would show he had wanted her. He wanted her? How insulting! But she didn't have the energy to go toe-to-toe with him right now, so she only said in a near-whisper, "You—desire me only."

"I've wanted you since we were children. Since before you had this—body," he said flatly, but one corner of his mouth curled up.

Lily missed the small smile. Her over-taxed brain could only snap back to thoughts of James. "But I've just been," she swallowed hard, "widowed." She tightened her jaw and willed herself not to cry.

"Lily, I don't mean to be brutal, but James is dead. You and Harry are alive. And the Dark Lord wants him."

She swallowed again. Now she was going to have to go toe-to-toe with Severus, and she knew he was not a wizard to tangle with lightly. "Forgive me, Sev, but you have seemed to enjoy—hurting people in the past. You've been kind it seems while I've been recovering, but—how many people have you killed? How many people have you hurt?"

"Lately only those whom I could not save," he returned curtly, stung. "I'm done with that, Lily."

"But—what about Harry? Could you ever you love James' son?"

Here, Snape faltered. He looked at the boy. "When I look into his eyes, I'll see yours, and for your sake, I will," he said at last.

"A nicer man might give me a little while to grieve for James! A nicer man might--"

"I'm not a nice man!" he cut in, inflamed. He was so close, so close to having her for his own. It had nearly killed him to see wretched James Potter marry her, see James Potter's ring on her finger, and watch James Potter's son in her arms. He wouldn't give her the chance of getting away again. In a more neutral tone, he continued, "As I said, the Dark Lord is gone for now, but he could come back at any time. And the Death Eaters will be looking for Harry in the meantime. You can't afford to wait. You have to make some decisions now."

"I don't know…" she said in a muffled voice. She seemed not to be able to think, clumsy and dull inside. He probed her thoughts again, but all that emerged was a gray, static-filled blur: Occlumency without conscious thought.

"I'll take an Unbreakable Vow," he said, bending his forehead to her hand, then putting his lips to it. "I'll protect him to my last breath. Anything, Lily," he murmured into her hand, but audible in the silent room. "Anything. Everything I have is yours. I swear. I swear. Say yes, Lily. I swear you won't regret it. You and the boy will be under my protection."

His intense, almost pleading tone steadied her. She understood a little of how much he wanted her, and she felt defeated. How little she might have to offer back! Recently widowed, still in love with her husband, what kind of wife could she be to him? "I don't know if I can love you as you deserve, Sev. I don't know if I'll ever," her voice dropped, "desire you."

"Give me a chance," he said, his voice low. "Please, Lily. You don't know what I really am. All I ask is your friendship by day and your—willingness—at night."

She took a ragged breath. "I—but you hated James. Hated him. And he saved your life once—"

Snape made a low, rough sound. "Forget—"

"I can't forget! He was my husband, my son's father—"

"Then, don't forget," he amended. "But, please, Lily. I'm begging you. For both our sakes, but most of all," here he sensed he had more leverage, "for the boy's."

"Harry's all I have now," she heard herself saying. For several moments, she tried hard to think, make a decision. The clock on the mantel ticked. Snape didn't move, hardly dared breath. His mind continued to probe hers, but still the gray wall blocked him. At last, one thing emerged clearly to her. Harry's well-being was all that mattered. If that was the case, then marrying Snape made all the sense in the world. He would protect Harry, keep him safe, and maybe he would offer her some consolation, too. She smiled wryly, just a small smile. Knowing Severus, consolation was not one of his strong suits. Still... . "All right, Severus. All right. I will."

Until that moment, he hadn't realized that he was holding his breath. Relief rushed through him, pounding in his temples. He turned her hand over and pressed a hot kiss into the palm. Lily felt an unexpected jolt from her hand, through her body, to settle between her thighs. Snape, reading her thoughts easily at this point, probed the palm delicately with his tongue, and felt himself hardening painfully as she gave a small gasp.

"But," she said, regaining some composure, "what will you tell the other Death Eaters about me? How will you explain marrying me?"

"It's so easy," he returned. "I'll tell them I've Imperiused you, made you marry me, that I'm using you."

"Are you?" she couldn't help asking.

Now he grasped her arms and pulled her down to him so they were both kneeling on the faded Oriental carpet. "Yes," he hissed. "I've wanted you all my life. I've risked everything for you. Put you, Harry, even James under my protection at risk of my life because of wanting you. I won't let you go now." And then he put his lips to hers, keeping the kiss light enough not to frighten her but fierce enough to show her what he meant.

At last, he drew back. Lily found she couldn't quite catch her breath, and not just because the kiss had been long. She had felt something with Snape, and she registered both pleasure, surprise, and guilt. Her dark red hair was beginning to straggle over her careworn eyes, but Snape didn't care. "And now, we'll have to tell Dumbledore, because this changes everything."

"What do you mean?" she said with some of her old fire. "Dumbledore knows you were going to ask me?' Her brows came together, and the green eyes began to snap.

Snape couldn't help smiling. "Dear Lily. You can't imagine I wouldn't tell him. Harry's choices are few. You're not in any shape right now to carry on alone. Harry can go into hiding with Petunia, be subject to neglect, abuse, and Petunia's tender mercies in Muggle-land, or you can marry me, and I'll be his father, teach him about magic, keep you and him safe."

Lily's breath came rapidly, and she stared at him. At last she said, "You're right, Severus. We will have to tell him."

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (no under 18). You'll also find another story by me there._


	3. Unbreakable Vows

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (__no under 18__). You'll also find another story by me there._

**Unbreakable Vows **

* * *

_At Number 12, Grimmauld Place_

Dumbledore smiled benignly at the sight of Lily and Snape, with Harry in Snape's arms, in the entryway of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.

"Then everything is settled?" he said.

"Not just yet," Lily replied. "I want your Unbreakable Vow, Sev, that you'll protect Harry."

Snape looked bored. "Of course," he said. "Where? In front of the fireplace?"

She nodded, and he set down Harry as she lowered herself to her knees. He knelt, too, and they linked hands. The room was dark. Dumbledore put the tip of his wand to their clasped hands.

"Will you, Severus, protect my son, Harry—to your last breath?" Lily said in a low, clear voice.

Snape looked over to where the boy was standing, regarding him. Staring into the child's eyes, he said clearly, "I will."

A tongue of flame rose from Dumbledore's wand and wound around their hands. Lily watched it in fascination, and Harry said, "Fire!"

Dumbledore smiled. "Shall we continue?" he said. "Lily, shall I say perform the wedding ceremony?"

She lowered her gaze. "Yes." She took her wedding band, the one James had given her, and moved it to the ring finger of her other hand, glancing up at Snape as she did so. His look was unreadable and distant, but when she held out her left hand, he held it fast with his right. Then Dumbledore began the ceremony.

When it was over, the lights seemed to come back on. Snape and Lily rose to their feet. Lily was surprised when Snape bent close to her ear and whispered in a low almost lazy voice, "I want to buy you a ring. It will have to be small. I am on a professor's salary—"

"A bonus might be in order," Dumbledore interrupted kindly. Two spots of color appeared on Snape's cheeks.

"Really, I don't need a ring," Lily protested.

"A ring," Snape persisted with finality. "With a green stone for your eyes. Something goblin-made."

Dumbledore took Harry's hand. "Why don't you go to Hogsmeade and find something? I'll watch the boy for a few moments."

Snape held out his hand for Lily, and after a brief hesitation, she took it, and they Disapparated.

Later, she stared at the thin, white-gold band with its seamless insert of a small green stone ("the best emerald of its size to be had for the money, sir"). Snape did not stare at his hand, but when she glanced at it, she saw the thin glint of unblemished white gold on the fourth finger of his left hand.

"Now what?" she said.

"Now—the wedding night."

_NOTE: Due to a small yet significant misunderstanding on my part about the relative merits of an M rating vs. an MA rating, I am voluntarily censoring the last two parts of this story. For the uncensored version, please see Adult (no space) Fan (no space) Fiction (dot) Net under "A Very Good Occlumens" or under the pen name Ink Stained Wretch (no under 18). You'll also find another story by me there._


	4. Maneuvering for Advantage

OK, OK. yet again I've been cautioned that this story is too--hot, I guess--for ff . net. So I've edited again. Pity.

* * *

_Maneuvering for Advantage_

She pinkened. "Can't that wait, Sev? I'm just getting used to the idea that James is—-dead—-" Her voice got higher. She controlled it with an effort. "What kind of wife would I be if I'm, with someone else...so soon?"

She thought she saw a slight relaxation of the muscles in his severe face that made him almost look as if he admired her. But his voice was hard. "You'd be a widow who cares about her son. I don't want a sham marriage. Either you're married to me, or you're not."

She set her jaw. Damn Severus! But the image of little Harry floated in her mind again, Harry, for whom she would do any and everything. She bent her head in resignation. "You're right, of course."

Her easy capitulation took him unawares, and he had to change tack quickly. "I thought we might return to my childhood house," he said more quietly. "That's where I met you, after all. And it's under strong concealment charms."

"Er—-do you—-do you have—-"

But Snape had heard enough. He grasped her arm and turned on the spot. They were back in the cozy but careworn little sitting room, which Lily now realized was Snape's childhood home on Spinner's End, refurbished. He had hated his childhood home, she knew, but now it afforded him protection, and he had made it his. Lily sat down while he began a fire in the living room. She shivered. "I thought you liked it cold," she said.

"_You_ don't."

"Where's Harry?"

"Dumbledore is taking him to the Weasleys' for the night. You remember them."

"You hate them."

"They have their uses. Some of them are more intelligent than others. At any rate, I don't hate them, but it's helpful to pretend I do."

She let it go. Unfortunately, in the ensuing silence, the clatter in her head returned: James...gone...James...gone...oh, James...oh, James...

"Do you want me to give you something for that?" Snape asked. She glanced up at him quickly to see concern and something else in his eyes. But her brain was too fogged with grief to figure out or care overmuch what it could be.

"That's very...kind of you, Sev," she managed.

"Please don't let it get around," he said with a tight smile. "I have a charm--"

"Is it Ministry-approved?"

He tilted his head to one side. "It would help you, though. Make it easier on you for one day. You could concentrate on other things."

"You, for instance?"

"I prefer to think of it as us," he returned without heat. "Do you want it?"

Did she want it? She could hardly think straight any more. She should grieve, she should weep! And if she didn't, what kind of awful widow was she? What kind of--

"Lily," he said, still using a gentle tone she had never heard in him before, "you'll tear yourself apart. Now it's just for one day."

Suddenly, it lifted. The leaden pane through which she had viewed the world ever since she left St. Mungo's fell away. She still felt sad, tremendously sad, and full of loss, but the clatter in her head was gone, and she could listen to Snape and see him clearly for the first time since she had regained consciousness.

"Better?"

"Yes. Er--thank you."

"It was...my pleasure." Now, at last, they could move on to other, more pressing matters, he thought, as his attention moved southward. He schooled his features into a neutral expression, though he felt as if he were burning inside.

"Where is the..." she cleared her throat, "bedroom?"

"Here, for tonight. _Accio Bed_." A four-poster hung with a rather dark tapestry appeared before the fireplace, and the room began to warm as the fire cast its merry glow about it.

"Are you hungry? You must be."

"No," she stammered.

"Eat," he said. "I'm not expecting things to be anything but as they are."

Lily laughed, sounding rusty and tense. "What is there to eat, then?" she said.

So they sat on the floor in front of the fire and had a wedding supper of bread and butter, rolls, some cheese, and an treacle tart that they shared. Snape found two bottles of ale, and they drank those, too.  
Once Lily had had her ale, she seemed both more tired and yet, more languid.

"Shall we go to bed?" Snape said lightly, his eyes boring into her.

"I started to ask you," she said, "do you have—-strange, er, desires? Something I should know about?"

"I rather think you'll get to know my desires as time goes by. I'm catholic in my tastes."

Uncertain, she started to say something, but he pulled her into his arms and splayed his hands around her rib cage while he kissed her. He could feel her heart pounding, and his mouth twisted into a small smile. His hands curved around her, and he heard her small intake of breath.

He pulled her up, sat on the bed, and pulled her on top of him as he lay down.

Again, the intake of breath.

He pulled her lower, so he could kiss her.

"How do you like to do it?" he said.

He saw her bite her lip slightly, pinkening again.  
"I, er, like to be, like this."

"On top?"

She nodded.

"You like to dominate."

Now she smiled. "Yes."

"Well, then, we have something in common."

"You like me to be on top?"

"I like to dominate, too."

She was not intimidated. Not in the least, he noted with pleasure.

"You won't dominate me," she said, leaning close, fire in her green eyes.

He smiled again, his eyes heavy-lidded. "We'll see."

Truthfully, he could enjoy her domination. But he wasn't going to tell her that. He pulled her down for another kiss and slid his hands under her sweater. With a quick movement, he unfastened her bra and slid his hands under it. She jumped slightly.

"Easy..."

His caressed her again.

"Easy..."

He heard another small gasp.

He pushed the blouse off her shoulders and took a long look at what lay beneath. He was painfully hard, pressing into her through her jeans and his own trousers. He could tell she felt it from the way she shifted over him awkwardly, trying not to inflame him. He pulled her more firmly over him and removed the blouse entirely. Then he unsnapped and unzipped her jeans.

"Pull them off."

He sensed resistance in her, some defiance about to issue from her lips. No need for Legilimency, and he almost didn't dare use it at such close quarters to her. He reached out and gently pushed the first two fingertips of one hand against her collarbone. "Now."

She hesitated, but his commanding tone had an odd effect on her. Somehow, that tight, full sensation between her legs got tighter and fuller. She sat next to him and pulled off her jeans, shoes, and socks. Her knickers remained, high-cut in white lace. He smiled lazily, an expression that made his thin face with its hooked nose and crooked mouth look sensual.

"You like lace?" she challenged, delighted to feel some measure of power of him being put into her hands.

"Mm." He ran his fingertips over the crotch of the knickers. Then he pulled her back over him, so her crotch was again pressed to him, but this time with less in the way. Again, the soft gasp. Unhurriedly, he moved her hips in small circles over him, rubbing and pressing.

"Sev..."

Her fingers shaking, she reached out and began unbuttoning the front of his robe. Snape knew his appearance was deceptive. Concealed beneath the head-to-toe fluttering black robes, flat muscle overlay his spare frame. She pushed back his robes. Merlin, she had never imagined..! She ran her hand down his chest to his sternum, and over one bicep.

"Surprised?"

She blinked up at his unfathomable black eyes. So black! What was he thinking? "I just never thought—-I mean—-" Her hand stilled. He grasped it and moved it back over his chest, closing his eyes. After a moment, she began her tactile exploration again. Then, shakily, she leaned over and flicked her tongue over his chest. That wrung a reluctant groan out of him. She began moving down his body. When she got to his fly, she unfastened it and pushed it down. He couldn't tear his eyes off her, not even when she glanced up at him from her near-crouching position. She pushed his knickers down. He heard her suck in breath. For a moment, she didn't move.

"It doesn't bite," he said dryly.

Still, she seemed fixed to the spot.

He laughed and took her arms to gently push her to one side so he could pull off the remainder of their clothes. "I thought you liked a challenge."

"I—-"

"And anyway," he continued, "you must not have much experience with men. You can take me."

"Oh!"

He got his hand under the lace of her knickers and probed. "Like it here?"

"Oh, Merlin's robe, Sev, I can't talk now..!"

"Or here?"

She gave a high moan.

"Mm." He established a rhythm, and her gasps became louder and higher. She reached down.

"Take me inside you," he gritted.

"Mmm," she playfully mocked him. "I rather like this instead." Her green eyes danced as they met his.

"You're killing me." He arched his back slightly. "Lily..." He could force her to yield, he knew, but he also knew she would never stand for it. Reluctantly, he lay flat on the bed. Feeling him subside, she lowered herself onto him. He stayed silent with effort. She began to rock, and he watched her, feeling his excitement grow. He knew how to be patient. He made a small movement. Lily tensed, and then suddenly, he heard her incoherent cries. At last, she jerked slightly away. "Oh, God," she said muttered thickly into his chest. Snape didn't speak, but that small smile played on his lips.

For a long while, they lay still, while he felt his blood pounding in his ears. She raised her head, her dark red hair tousled and enchantingly mussed. With a quick glance his way, she moved down his body. He held his breath. A moment later, her warm lips were on him. He said nothing, but his eyes closed. Good Lord, he thought distractedly, did James get this on a regular basis? Good Occlumens that he was, he squelched that particular thought. He didn't think he could take much more of this. Time to give her a small taste the kind of domination he'd grown to like as a Death Eater.

He sat up, and she lifted her head, as he'd known she would. Fluidly, he pulled her under him, kneeing apart her thighs apart.

"Hey!"

He ignored her protest and controlled her shifting body with his greater strength. "Hey!" she said louder. Easily, he got both her wrists in one of his hands and pulled them above her head. She twisted in his grasp, but couldn't free herself. Then he pushed in deeply. Her frown melted into a glassy look. She moaned. "You like it this way, don't you?"

"Sev—-"

"Tell me you like it."

"Sev—-"

"Tell me!"

She moaned again.

"Tell me or I'll stop."

"Don't!"

He stopped moving.

"Please…"

"Tell me."

She gulped. "I like it, Sev. I like it when you're holding my hands and—-" Her voice dropped to an embarrassed mumble.

He moved experimentally inside her. "Say it," he said thickly.

Her breathy whisper rasped in his ear, telling him all he wanted to hear. He thrust deeply into her and both of them seemed to reach the edge together.

Afterward, they lay panting on the bed for some time.

When their breathing returned to normal, Snape lifted his head, looked around, and intoned, "_Accio fags._"

The pack of cigarettes moved within reach. Snape took one out and tamped it a few times against the pack. "_Accio matches._" The matches materialized. It took him a couple tries, but he struck the match, lit the cigarette, and sucked in a deep lungful of smoke.

"Sev, that's a nasty habit," Lily said in a cajoling tone, as he blew out a long, blue-gray stream with satisfaction and relief. Maybe she could change him, a little? Tame some of his less--savory aspects?

He considered what she had said as he watched the glowing end of the cigarette. "Lily," he said finally, "I may be a spy for the Order, and I may be Dumbledore's man, and Merlin knows, I'd go wand-to-wand with the Dark Lord himself for your sake, but there are some things I've—-learned—-as a Death Eater that I'm afraid I just can't give up."


End file.
